My adventure

Hi class. I am a 32 year old LVN. As a child, I wanted to be a Vet. I am an advocate for all animals and I will rescue just about any animal. I was a vet tech for 8 years and I had an experience that I could not have done on my own, as the Vet. I was taking care of a 3 year old Rottweiler who had cancer in his front elbow on his leg. At the current time, this was about 14 years ago, I had a lab puppy and 2 Rottweiler puppies. I was not in a place to where I could take in another dog.

The family of this 3 year old dog, or should I say the husband who was as cold as the artic, told me that he wanted to just put the dog to sleep. I offered him many other options but he would not even entertain the idea of anything other than putting this gorgeous, sweet boy to sleep. I could tell by the stance of the Rottweiler that the husband and possibly the son’s were abusive to him and possibly the wife as well. It took many hours before the Vet was able to out him to sleep. We called rescues and tried to find him a home within the clinic, with no luck. Knowing that the best think at this time for him would be to put him down. I held him as he passed away and I cried for him and felt my heart break so hard knowing I wasn’t able to keep him safe or take him home.

This was not the only thing that lead me to a life as a nurse. My Papa died in his sleep when I was 20 years old. I was devastated and lost when I was called at the vet and informed that my dad had gone to check on my Papa and found him gone. Althought this man I called my Papa was not blood related to me, he was the man that showed me I could do anything in this world and the person that I looked up to, for he had been through so many things and still took in my father when his dad killed himself and taught him lessons and life as if her was his son. I told my dad “I do not want to have another person die alone in their home or at a nursing home and not know that someone cared and was there in the end”.

I was very blessed that I had my father there for me and for his support to get me into nursing school. I went into LVN school at Concorde and in a year, I graduated with honors and I sat for my Boards. I passed and was a nurse, I was able to achieve my goal of being able to help people and be there to just listen if that’s all they needed. My father paid my school loan in full to help me not have to face the student loans that would have occurred. Two years later, I went to go back to school at Tarrant County College, just to find that all the classes I had taken and time I put into getting my LVN and not one credit transferred to anyone other than another Concorde.

Now I am about 2 years away from getting to have my dream of a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing. It has not been a walk in the park. I have lost 2 men in my life who could not handle me being a nurse and in nursing school and I have had to take some time off to recover from personal hell I have been put through, but I will not let the bad times or days break my dreams and goals of achieving all my dad and Papa believed I could be.

Working full time as a travel nurse consultant can be very challenging for my schooling at times but I love the job that I am doing and I have worked very hard to be able to be in the place that I am today. I am not going to let a little stress and anxiety take the one job I love away from me, especially after all the horrible jobs and bosses I have had to deal with and who told me that I would never achieve my dreams because I am just an LVN.

 

There is a painting that is in the Minnesota museum. I have seen it when I visited my sister. It is a cluster of colors, brush strokes and just random angles. In the painting, I can see the symbolism of chaos, but also acalming essence.

I have some Cherokee Indian in my history and when I look at this painting it makes me think of the sun as it is setting but also the scene left behind after a wild animal kills something. I know that I may be the only person but I see the outline and image of a wolf when I am looking at this painting. To me this is symbolic that no matter the chaos or hard time you have in your life, you will manage to always come out on top of the situation and with a small pack of people who are always there for you. This may be in part because I grew up with my grandmother and the German Shepards that were our guards and protectors.

Art is an expression of the individual and the feelings that they either can not put into words or may be afraid of what others may say or think of them if they do. To me in the collage of colors and brush strokes in the painting, you can see the time and detail that was put into the painting.

In the second painting that I feel inspired by, you have a African, female with the colors red, white and blue across the painting. I picked this painting because of the reading that we just finished. This painting is a representation of the what it is like to be an American. In the background you have the gender and the race of the person, but in the front view is the American flag. African American Art, Afrocentric Art, Modern Urban Art, African American Artwork, Afro Art, Tribal Wall Art Print, Red, white, blue

I feel like this is the representation that all people who are in American need to be see for who they are. She is a beautiful woman, with cross earrings on, has dreadlocks and appears to be happy. We need to see all paintings as the painter intended. In a world of such hate and discrimination, it is an amazing painting and such an inspiration for all women of any color.  To be seen and not heard is not how women should be, we should be able to be seen as well as speak up and defend ourselves.

Never Give up.

So, This is something that is personal to me and that I had to find my way through. I was 12, I had a step-mom who didn’t really like me. want me around and was jealous that I had a realationship with my Father.

I was powerless and had not voice. My father didn’t believe the things that I would tell him that my step mom and her horrible son were doing to me. I knew then at the age of 12 I was on my own and was going to have to find my way to get through all the abuse and verbal breakdown daily. My step mom told me “You are nothing but a little bitch. You will never amount to anything, have anyone to love you and you are a ugly girl. You need to know this, so you don’t have big dreams for yourself.”

Wow, I was 13 when she said all of this to me. I turned into a person that was secluded into my room, did my school work and pretty much had no friends bc my step brother made my life a living hell at school. At the age of 16, I chose to live with my Grandma to get away from my step mom and step brother. It was at this time that I started to get my Erotic power back. I finished school a year early, and went to a Technical college to get my MA license. Sadly, my step mom thought she could break me again by sending her son to the same school as me. For her, it was a fail because I knew at this time my potential and I continued to strive for the things she told me I could never attain. I graduated with honors. I bought my first home at the age of 24, I own my car and have another I am paying for. I may not have a man in my life at this time, but I am still young and I have been able to show myself that even though others may look at you and try hard to destroy you, break your spirit or make it impossible to reach all your dreams; they will only succeed if you let them win.

I am currently an LVN and am wound care certified. I am going to college to get my RN and then my BSN. In the end, hopefully 2-3 years, I will have my BSN and have my Associates in Chemistry. I will not give in to having no voice, I will continue to achieve all the things I want to and just know in my mind that my step moms jealousy or hate will not control me. I have a voice and I can speak, I will continue with the power I have been given and succeed in all life challenges ahead of me.

 

Feminism in all aspects of life.

I watch a show on ABC Family “Switched at Birth”. This is a show that has many racial innuendos in it. You have a family that is very wealthy and one that is on a much lower income scale. They soon find out that their daughters have been switched and they face eachother to meet their real daughters.

In doing so, we see that one of the daughters is Deaf and the birth father doesn’t want to admit that his daughter could have a problem. She is almost ignored by him and the other daughter is seen in his eyes to be his. To me, this is a little part of the Erotic as power that is not being seen in women. The girl came from a low income, Hispanic family and was actually the daughter of a wealthy, power placed white family. Bae, the actual daughter of the lower income family, has been raised as a very wealthy, private school and anything she wanted life.

The fact that Daphne is both of lower income family and deaf place her at a risk of being made fun of, told she can’t do things or just passed over for things because she has a disability. After reading what Lorde had to say about women’s empowerment, I watch this show in a different way. Daphne is a very strong and tolerant woman who has not allowed the criticism or denial of anything stand in her way. She has goals of being in the medical field and is making major strides towards this. All women fact some obstacle in out lives, we just have to continue to pursue the right to have that goal or dream and never give up on the chance to change something for the better.

 

American Dream

When I think about the American Dream, I think about the freedom that was won for us with all of the wars that we have fought, my ancestors who may have been slaves at some point but have allowed me to live in a place that I am not forced to do things that I don’t want to or that I might have been born into.

I do have to say that I am blessed to be living in a Country that allows me freedom and doesn’t judge me or put me in a category just because I am a woman. I am strong, independent and career driven. My mother was not allowed to work in her first marriage because he wanted to be the one that provided for the family and believed that the woman’s place was at home and in the kitchen. I feel that with my American Dream I am able to have a career, go to school to further my education, own a home and still be at the house and take care of things here.

Things have not always been the easiest for me to continue on my road to success for my American Dream, but I have managed to make it through all of them with determination and drive. I believe that the American Dream is whatever a person wants to achieve in their life, as well as part of their up bringing. No one can achieve the things they want to if they are being discouraged by the negative things that are amongst us in the world.

In the poem by L. Hughes “Let America Be America Again”, I feel like I can relate to the struggle that he was experiencing. I am Middle class and I do struggle to be able to make a name for myself. I have had to sacrifice my time, money I didn’t have and quality time with my family; because I was trying to maintain my place in the Nursing field and get all that needed to be done there done. There may have been some times I felt pulled by the two events, but I knew that I had to work to be able to care for my family, pay my bills and continue towards my journey for the American Dream.

I feel that all of the struggle and decisions I have made have gotten me a little closer to the Dream that I have for myself. I will not give up even if they environment or world wants to try and break me. I have my freedom from the men and women who fought for it, so I will not give in to the down times and not achieve all I know I can achieve.